T minus 2
So sad to say it, but I leave in two days. Can’t believe this ride has almost come to an end. And what a fantastic one it has been. During the three months, it didn’t feel like time was slipping by so fast. Sometimes I even felt a little home sick. But now, looking back, it did whip by a bit. And I’ve been more offline and out there recently to savor all the last little bites of Peru.
The beach was awesome, but nearly kicked my ass. Playa every “morning,” fiesta every night. “Morning” is in quotes, because my morning was usually my afternoon. I’m nursing a bit of a cold, which has two days to get out of my system before I hit the cold weather. The staff at the hostel I’ve been staying at in Lima between trips welcomed me back again with their friendly, familiar, smiling faces. They noted that I looked a little less white after the week or so at the playa, but I think they were just being nice, as I look virtually the same (I guess 50 spf sunblock did the trick). At least I’m not red.
These couple days I’m spending doing some last minute shopping and getting in some last favorites. I’ve already hit the clubs, walked the streets of Miraflores, walked along the cliff and over to Larco Mar, eaten lucuma (awesome fruit) ice cream, tried some other fruits I hadn’t tried yet, and hung with friends for the last time. Need to get in more doses of ceviche, causa, papas a la huancaina, pollo a la parilla, lomo saltado, arroz con pollo o mariscos–I actually don’t have enough meals left to fit these all in. Can’t wait to try cooking some dishes at home.
I’ve learned so much on this trip…the type of lessons that you can never forget and can change your life. It’s actually hard to put them all into words. I’ll try a bit…For one, I’m starting to realize who I really am and what I’m capable of–in good and bad ways. There were times that I was an all out idiot and allowed myself to be taken advantage of, with my trusting ways. And there were times that I was an outright goddess able to lead armies into victorious battles, or, rather, lead friends around the dance floor and keep the party going all night. I’ve stopped punishing myself and fearing as much the wrath of other people’s judgment of my life. I am who I am…up days, down days, party days, work days, and all. The potential for me to open up and understand more people has increased due to better understanding myself. And observation skills are getting stronger.
I feel super motivated to work. Having less than no money probably has somethig to do with this, but I am also excited to get going with some projects. Work for me when I return is going to be writing/creating and studying. I’ll be stuck up in Bethany most of the time, trying to figure out my next move. This trip has inspired me to follow some dreams. I’ve met people who have relocated here to open bars, who surf all day and give lessons to survive, who gave up being a lawyer to teach castellano instead, who fell in love and moved to join their spouse then started an internatinally successful clothes-line. There are so many things people can do with their lives, and the limits are usually just imagination and fear. Until I came here, I don’t think I really understood how much fear, both from personal and societal sources, held me down.
I’m a little nervous to go back. I really feel that I’ve started a new life down here, and I want to see where it goes. I want an apartment–so sick of the tourist lifestyle…always worried about who might steal my stuff and all. I’d like to get to know my friends better and not wonder anymore if they’re really my friends or just want to get some action (like in the States, I have a lot of guy friends here and chicas are harder to get to know). And another lesson I’ll be taking home…men are ridiculous. I can elaborate more on this blanket statement in person, and I usually try to avoid making generalizations, but let’s just say that many stereotypes about men are disappointingly true (for example, I didn’t think that ALL men think with their dicks first, but it’s true, ladies, ALL men think with their dicks first).
I feel like I just started dating in my life while here in South America. I never really got it in the States…I always had long-term-ish boyfriends. Never just tested the waters–I’ve been afraid of the sharks on land too, I guess. But the passionate latino culture kind of forces your hand to act, or react, and is hard to avoid. It has made me understand the whole man/woman relationship thing a lot better. This, along with other lessons, is the type of thing I fear I’ll forget or lose when I’m back in the US. I guess I just like the force of my being here: my essence, who I really am, shines through, perhaps because I am more vulnerable and have more time on my hands. This trip is the best thing I could have done. I feel saved.
Life has really been much simpler than I’ve made it out to be in my mind over the last handful of years. I think worrying just tricks us into thinking we are more important than we are. But we are all really just creatures who need to live simply and be humble, given all the knowledge we have. We must learn from and treat each other better. I love the people who work in my hostel. I have spent weeks here over a month or so, and they are like my family. Beatrice just came over, out of her way, to give me a welcome-back hug after being away at the playa. Right now, a couple others are painting bare branches white and sticking white confetti to the paint to create the illusion of snow, as they decorate the interior of the hostel with wintery Christmas apparel on this sunny 70 degree F day.
Ah, summer is almost here, and I am almost gone. Que triste. So I could keep writing here at my breakfast table about all my many impressions, but we’ll have time to talk when I am home. I have 48 hours left of Lima to enjoy, and I’m gonna get to it. See you soon in the States. Feliz Navidad and Happy Holidays! I’ll add the rest of my photos and keep the blog going when I get back. Besos!
